Tag Archives: gift basket
The NY Times and the rest of the world reported the following regarding the greatest pimp in sports history:
Derek has girls stay with him at his apartment in New York, and then he gets them a car to take them home the next day. Waiting in his car is a gift basket containing signed Jeter memorabilia, usually a signed baseball,” the friend dished.
“This summer, he ended up hooking up with a girl who he had hooked up with once before, but Jeter seemed to have forgotten about the first time and gave her the same identical parting gift, a gift basket with a signed Derek Jeter baseball,” the pal said. He basically gave her the same gift twice because he’d forgotten hooking up with her the first time!”
So if your girlfriend or wife has a signed Derek Jeter baseball, you know whats the deal. So with that being said, here are the top 10 things inside the Derek Jeter gift basket.
10. Autographed Baseball
Ball is signed by the entire 2008 Trenton Thunder baseball team and not Derek Jeter himself.
9. Tickets For 4 To Go See Twilight
Special instructions on these tickets clearly state: Do not invite Mr. Jeter.
8. Thank You Card
This card is not hand written. It has a photocopied message that says: Thanks for a great time last night (fill in name here). Signed Derek Motha Fuckin Jeter.
The blue flavor.
6. Memory Erasing Pills
Special instructions come with these pills as well. The clearly state: Take these pill as soon as the driver takes you to your final destination.
5. A DVD Copy of The Other Guys
He played a homeless person who gets killed by Marky Mark.
4. A Plaque
The plaque is engraved: I Had Sex With Derek Jeter.
3. Ham and Cheese Sandwich
A girl has to eat.
2. A Pen and Paper
This is so the girl can jot down the names and phone numbers of all of her female friends so they too can enjoy a night with Derek Jeter.
1. Morning After Pills
These pills are taken just as Mr. Jeter leaves the girl at the car so he can witness that they take these pills and he also checks under the girls tounge to make sure she doesnt try to sneak a kid out of her vagina 9 months later.