Tag Archives: funny words
June 15, 2011 Entertainment
Just some thoughts to get you through the day…
- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’
- I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
- A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.