Sometimes, you just need a laugh…enjoy!

• There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

• I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

• You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

• Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

• Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

• A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

• Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

• I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

• When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.